It hit...

I miss food!!! I mean food, not goodies and treats. But instead of drowning in my sorrow of missing food I am going to remind myself of this Phillipians 4:13 " I CAN do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me!!!! Have to keep reminding myself of that.

I also have really struggling tonight with trusting God. Not in the way o ne might think due to my issues. Trusting that he will provide the money or the foods that I need. I have got to trust that he will truly supply ALL my need!!!

I am also struggling with not knowing or hearing from my GI. I keep questioning myself....maybe this is in my head. Maybe this is just psychosomatic or maybe I am abstaining from solids when I don't have too. Maybe some solids here and there are good for me still. I will just wash them down with a huge amount of water. I am in denial I guess to some degree. Do I really have an issue? My husband said this to me tonight, after he had heard me belching constantly "Ok, something has to be wrong. I have never heard you burp like this ALL the time!" We've been married 12 years. Also when I do attempt to eat something not liquidy enough...I regurgitate it. I am so looking forward to hearing from my doctor on Tuesday. Seems like foerever.

So...I am not doing well emotionally tonight. Maybe I am just tired. I also feel blech like usual. I want to go to sleep but my soup hasn't settled yet and I am afraid I will regurgitate it in my sleep. That isn't good either. So I sit awake.

BUT...God is good because he is GOD. God is good because he saved my soul. God is good because I have a family who loves me dearly. God is good because my 10 yr old son is such a sweet boy and loves his momma so much. He was in tears tonight because of what I am going through. He knows how hard this is for me. God is good because he gave me inlaws that help supply the children's needs. All 6 kids got new shoes and a new summer outfit today! God is good because my husband is so wonderful!! I kn ow this is hard and I have been hard to deal with at times, but he is so loving and compassionate! God is just soo good!!!!!!